Marriage = Heaven or Hell

Marriage is either heaven on earth or hell on earth. There seems to be little ground between these two extremes. What makes the difference? The best marriages can be described as intimate. Intimacy is a warm, loving and close relationship. Better communication leads to greater intimacy.

Too many couples play communication games. Hints, half-truths, manipulation and intimidation are poor forms of communication. Usually, straight-forward communication is the best. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Secrets will destroy trust. Trust is the foundation of a solid marriage.

To create a safe zone for the truth to be spoken in love, each spouse must be free to share opinions and feelings. Husbands and wives must value each others' opinions. We must give each other the freedom to think differently from ourselves. Forcing my opinion on my wife robs intimacy from our relationship. This leads to arguments or silence. Michelle, my wife, has freedom to share with me what troubles her in my behavior. I need to receive her thoughts without being defensive. We are seeking a solution to our problem, not blame. No one wins an argument. Both lose.

Does your marriage look and feel more like heaven or more like hell? Your ability to communicate will greatly determine which is true.

Peace,

Stan

Peace or Strife

One's motives can be measured by the fruit that is produced.
James 3:14–18 (NKJV), "But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."
Wisdom from above produces peace. Bitterness and envy is the product of earthly, sensual & demonic "wisdom". Seek the peace that comes from above.
Peace,
Stan

God is Love

God is love, according to 1 John 4:8. God can never do anything outside of love. He is not loving; He is love. God loves when we do not. There is not one thing a person can do that will cause God to stop loving him or her. God's arms are open to us always. God forgives so that we can repent and reestablish right relationship with him.

If I am going to be more like God, then I must allow his love to grow in me. Romans 5:5 informs us that God's love has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. So, I now have the capacity to walk in unconditional love also.

Love is incompatible with the claim of my rights. Love is concerned for the rights of others. Self-absorption is the opposite of Christianity. My story is subordinate to God's story. God is glorified only when I love as he has loved me. Forgiveness is at the heart of love. Unconditional love means that I do not have a choice except to forgive and give.

Is there any person on earth, whom God does not love? I think not. Therefore, I must love every person on earth. Someone may hate me. Yet, I must love him. There are certainly people of all kinds who live differently from my values. They should not see my condemnation and disdain; they should see God's love shining through me towards them.

The essence of our belief system is loving God and loving our neighbor. According to Jesus, my neighbor is anyone I come in contact with, especially those who are hurt or in need. My actions prove what I believe about God. The golden rule is my best guide in how to relate with other people. I must always treat others in the same way I want them to treat me.

The church living together in the love of God is our best witness to those outside of our fellowship. Walking in love means that I hardly even notice mistreatment. Love is not touchy. Love does not demand its own way. Our love must also reach outside of the church walls. We love each other as the church gathers together. Our love reaches out to the world after the benediction. The church must be a preview of things to come. We must be the trailer the world views to draw them to the main event.

God is love, so must I be.

Peace,
Stan

Rescuing Children from Slavery

Every day children in many parts of the world are forced into slavery. Eight year old children in the Middle East are forced to work in the brick factories every day. Twelve year old children are snatched from the streets all over Asia to be abused sexually by prostitution rings. Obviously, this sickens each of us. But, what can I do?

By myself, I can do very little. In partnership with others, I can do much. My friends, Todd and Julie Powers, are rescuing children from slavery. Their organization, Empower International, is building orphanages and schools to save children. They give these children a chance to have a better future.

You can contact Empower International at http://www.powersplanet.org/. A few dollars can prevent and rescue children from human trafficking. Would you consider visiting the website and consider helping the Powers rescue children?

Peace,

SS

Faith Prefers Others

In Genesis 13 we read about strife that comes between Abram and his nephew, Lot. The rift occurs as a result of the increase of their business ventures. Their herds of livestock outgrew the available water and grazing. People believe falsely that financial increase will solve their problems. Often, increase creates new problems. Money issues can stir up contention and controversy. Lot's association with his uncle made him wealthy. Now, they are having issues.

The more spiritual of the two, Abram, was the first to speak up with a solution. Abram suggested they separate. Sometimes separation is the only way to keep harmony. Growth often brings division. When cells grow, they divide and start again. This is healthy. Division is usually associated with problems. Division can, however, lead to greater growth in the future.

Not only did Abram advise that separation occur, but allowed his nephew to choose which direction he preferred to go. Faith prefers others. Philippians 2:3-4, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Lot, of course, chose the better land with a more consistent water supply in the Jordan River valley. However, he moved his family into the region of Sodom, whose residents were wicked and great sinners against the Lord.

Business decisions without consideration to spiritual consequences is dangerous. Sensual choices are sinful choices, and seldom fare well for the chooser. That which is best for our spiritual life is the best for us. In the end, Lot's life was virtually destroyed. Abram's life continued to be blessed of the Lord.
Follow Abram by preferring others.

Peace,
Stan

Others

The invention of social media networks has revealed much about the human condition. Social media gives us the wonderful opportunity to connect with our friends and family. It is a modern wonder. While my friend, Todd, traverses the globe sharing good news of God's eternal love, I receive daily reports. I can pray more effectively and be connected to the trip. Friends and family are able to rejoice with us as we share images of our children and grandchildren from dance recitals or ball games. This is wonderful.

I also notice what seems to be bragging by those in my network. No one knows the thoughts and intentions of others. It is not my place to judge others. I am not God. He alone is the judge. However, I am suppose to judge myself. According to 1 Corinthians 11:27-32, before we partake in Holy Communion we should examine ourselves. If we judge ourselves, we will not require further judgment.

Let's use social media as a means of fellowship with others, and to advance the cause of Christ. Let's reduce our need to brag of our latest exploits and opportunities. Let's follow the greatest command--love God and love others.

Peace,
Stan

Valentine's Day

With Valentine's Day approaching, one's thoughts are drawn to love. Love is defined so widely. Love for many people is some squishy bit of goo. Love must be more than a capricious emotion. Our emotions are too unreliable. I believe the band Boston tried to capture this thought in the song-"More Than a Feeling."

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away

It's more than a feeling
(More than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play
(More than a feeling)
I begin dreaming
(More than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away

So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
As clear as the sun in the summer sky

It's more than a feeling
(More than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play
(More than a feeling)
I begin dreaming
(More than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away
I see my Marianne walkin' away

When I'm tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away
She slipped away

It's more than a feeling
(More than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play
(More than a feeling)
I begin dreaming
(More than a feeling)
'Til I see Marianne walk away

 

I have been married to Michelle for 29 years. It's more than a feeling. Yet, the feelings of love are strong. Speaking from experience, there is nothing in life equal to loving a person for a lifetime. Love is defined by actions more than feelings. The feelings of love follow the actions of love. Love is intentionally doing for another something helpful that costs you something. Loving for a lifetime is living always to please the other person more than yourself. Love is not demanding, it is generous.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Stan